Look at me go. I’m here again, ready to write. Ready to make the space for the words to hit the keyboard. It’s very nice. Hello, you 🙂
I did sort of write a list of topics to write about for most of the days in my 12 days of blogging, as I thought I would need a hand with all the thoughts on the mid-week days. And man, don’t I know myself well? (Shhhhh don’t tell anyone that at 35, I had hoped I’d know myself!) My plan, no lets not go that far; my list of topics I could theme a post on was really an attempt at a super-plan so past-me could help future-me win the challenge (or write a blog post for 12 days straight, whatever).
On my list for tonight was to write about my adult-onset addiction to running. You might look at me and struggle to reconcile me and that last statement…but, I don’t care. Running, as a semi-overweight woman is bloody empowering. I can choose how much I want to push myself, or how little, on any given day. I can run, knowing I am strong and healthy. I can run with a smile on my face (wait, is that a hill? I’m not smiling anymore) or I can run with solitude on my mind. I love the thrill of a race or event, the camaraderie when everyone is at the start line, the high-fives at the end. I love witnessing other people push themselves or choosing that today is a day to take it easy.
What I don’t love, however is my body’s seemingly unhappy response to my addiction. There was a time in my life where I was nicknamed Cripps. I always seemed to be on crutches or in a sling or carrying some sort of injury. As I reached my adult years, I became sick of being injured, so I just got busy with life. As I reveled in the non-injuries, loving the food, booze, bands and nightlife, I began to realise that life was noisy. Peace was difficult to find, as was my spark; but at least I wasn’t Cripps anymore.
Since rediscovering the joy in moving one’s body, the peace and freedom it brings, I’ve also discovered the expense it can bring. I’ve spent a freaking fortune on physio, osteo, medical bills and lost hours doing the ice/heat swapsies game. You know, I am actually sitting here, right now, with ice on my leg, leaving my Track running session early due to a strain in some stupid muscle. I know I am the most injury-prone person I have ever come across. I don’t know what else to do about it though, so, I’ll just rest up, do the rehab, try to commit to strength training and see how I go. Good plan? I hope so. I’m told that rebellions are built on hope (thank you for the inspo Jyn Erso), and so, perhaps I’ll just start my own rebellion.
I’m old enough and wisdomed enough to know that nothing is a constant, nothing is cemented in time. Everything is impacted by my own narrative, by how I let ‘me’ be defined by my thoughts (I better make them good ones then!). Yes, this is another injury, but time will pass, and I will help my body to learn from it.
So, my plan-come-list had me supposedly writing tonight about how wonderfully transformative running has been for me personally; how my community of brilliant running females has inspired me in so many other ways; how I think I am part of lottery-winning running group, as we are led by one truly great human (hi Lyndal), one of the best – open to all things running, yes, but kindness, strength, empathy, life, laughter and Gin (you do like Gin, don’t you?). How I didn’t realise there was so much perseverance in mid-life women, but bloody hell, I do now. How I know everyone thinks their running group is the best, but how I think it’s a little silly to play the ‘mine is better than yours’ game and that I’d rather look at it from the perspective of what’s best for oneself and that we all find what we need…and I found strength, character and perseverance through running.
Ha. Good Plan, T.
Anyway, never one to follow any sort of plan, I twinged my leg at the end of warm up tonight and instead I’m sitting here drinking a gin & tonic yelling into the internet-sphere about how much I love running, despite the woes it gives me.