sidetracked

It’s been the most turbulent month of my life, I think. Anyway, things have started to move in a direction that I want to call forwards, but that word doesn’t seem to fit. I’ve been really looking forward to writing about my thoughts and feelings, plus the few adventures we’ve had.

So, I made myself a Gin & Tonic and thought “I’ll sit down, have a quick yarn to Grimace and then I’ll knuckle down and bang out a post, soothing my soul along the way”. Ha. Well, I drank the Gin & Tonic (double shot, I might add), spoke to Grimace and started internetting kitchen renovation designs. And 90 minutes later, here I am: an empty blog, an empty glass and an empty soul after looking through millions of perfectly designed show-room kitchens.

So, I’m awfully sorry – I’ve been sidetracked; don’t expect much more from me tonight!

Our little world is changed forever

Grief is an odd thing. It comes in many forms, and is usually unpredictable. It brings with it big feelings: enormous scary feelings of loss, change and sadness, all overlaid with an odd haziness that is hard define. Many of you know that you’ll also find it in unexpected places – these are sometimes the hardest to grasp, grabbing you in the moment and quickly reminding you of the loss you are processing.

Theverymoodyhousehold has unexpectedly said goodbye to Grimace’s mother, the boys Nanna and my Mother-in-Law. The unexpected nature of the heartache has been somewhat difficult to process, and I am in awe of Grimace’s family that have been able to to come together to form a tight, supportive and loving unit.

We held a beautiful and devastating service yesterday, attended by a startling number of people, whom she had treated only ever with kindness. The beautiful flowers and beautiful words were only fitting, to pay tribute to the beautiful woman, who previously held so much warmth, kindness and everything my boys hold dear in their Nanna.

Grimace and I made a conscious decision to keep the boys involved in all aspects of the loss and grief. They visited their Nanna in hospital, less than 12 hours before she left our world. This was a particularly hard decision for us to come to, but one we are pleased we took. Death is hard and scary, and everything you want to theoretically protect your loved ones from. But, in the end, it comes to us all – and talking with my loved ones about it will hopefully help their grief, and in turn work to help mine. By talking with the boys about Nanna and her passing away, we are navigating the grief together, and with that, we are finding the stories and memories of Nanna easier to tell; easier to remember with joy. We will keep their memory of Nanna strong, making sure they know how much she loved them, and how much she was loved by everyone.

Death is definitely a definite: perhaps, the only one in this life (after the Taxes component seems to becoming less and less definite, depending which business you own!). While I am processing the loss of our favourite Nanna, I am in awe of the mature way in which both Little Mate and Giggles Magoo are processing their grief. They have so much love for this woman who cared so deeply for them – I feel so incredibly lucky to have the memories I do of their faces lighting up when they’d previously spotted Nanna coming down the drive. This lovely woman was so incredibly dedicated to her six grandchildren, she would constantly give herself to ensure they (and their parents) were supported through their everyday.

Our lives are forever changed with the loss, however her legacy will live on – we will continue to live our life, guided by her warmth and kindness for all who come our way.

Nanna, Narelle Anne Moody (nee Hunter 14.11.1953 – 05.03.2018) –

Forever in our Hearts xx