The rhythm of life took a sort ‘2 steps forward/1 step back’ kind of path. No wait, it’s been a couple of years of stop, slowly start, stop again, longer bigger stop, soft go, stop, go, stop, go… Well, you get the picture. Between family chaos, family changes, health matters and just other stuff that pops up, I was forced to abandon any discipline or regularity in being physically active. By now, you’ll all roll your eyes when I espouse the love I have for being outside, and more particularly the love I have for adventure and running. And with that eye roll and slight irritation, you’ll start to have an insight into my feelings of loss and grief when talking about removing one part of my identity that brought me such joy (the last 2 years has definitely seen many parts of my identity change, but then that happens as the years pass, right?!).

Anyway, fast forward 2 years, add in a few recent pieces of good news and time passing, you’ll imagine my joyous smile at reporting I’ve slowly been working away to rebuilding my capacity, bringing those dreams of regularly running away (well, briefly anyway) to the wilderness just that little bit closer.

In fact, on the weekend just passed, I was lucky enough to hit some trails with a long term running buddy, and it felt just like old times. I’m quick to remind myself that it is pointless longing for days gone by – they are lovely memories, but wishing I could easily live out those memories is almost a waste of my last 2 years.

Over the last 2 years, I’ve learnt so much about my capacity for resilience, for patience, for quieting the anxious thought process that I’ll be stuck in the “rest” bubble forever. I would do better to remind myself that in fact, it is an immense privilege I have to even be able to experience the wilderness, let alone adventure in it. An adventure ready/able-body is not something that is so simply accessed. On top of that, nor does everyone have readily accessed trails as I do, and so that equally reminds me to appreciate all my adventures; the last 2 years have only served to fuel my gratitude.

So, on Sunday when I joyfully met at sunrise to traipse across many a gushing creek crossing, to find myself skirting around many muddy puddles (not the new shoes!), well you can imagine the joy and gratitude I had flowing. I had not felt as free and connected as I did in that moment for the longest time. It was the best 10km of fun I’d had in such a long time. Well, actually, since the day before where I did some indoor rock climbing.

Both days of putting my arms, legs, lungs and heart to heavy work served to remind me that my mind and body are strong, as is the honour and privilege I have to be out adventuring.

Maybe I’ll get another adventure soon, maybe it’ll take some time until the stars align. And that’s cool, I’ll just (im)patiently know the next adventure will come. They always do. For now, I’m here working through all the “NO, I’M NOT HAVING A SHOWER”‘s, or the “WHY DON’T YOU EVER BELIEVE ME, YOU LOVE X MORE THAN ME”s (spoken like a true middle child) and “I’m not doing that if I don’t want to”s, dreaming.