Apparently, today marks thirty years, to the day that Rage Against The Machine released Evil Empire. To be fair, my only source of truth for this was me hearing it announced by the morning show host on Triple J, Australia’s youth music public broadcast/radio station (for those not in the know). They celebrated by playing Bulls On Parade, and I can confidently tell you, it is just as epic as you remember it.

I have not fact checked the 30-year detail (I’ve done the last thing and just assumed public broadcaster wouldn’t get this wrong), but what I did do, was immediately listen to the album, on repeat. Marveling at the intensity of feeling these songs still spark, I was transported back to the 90’s as I made my way to do the weekly grocery run. As I pushed that trolley around my local SUPA IGA with RATM cranked, I was collecting the items off my phone-based shopping list and Instantly I felt quite fraudulent and privileged at the irony (or is it hypocrisy?) in my position in life… And yet, I couldn’t stop getting lost in the music; getting lost in the lyrics.

Headphones on, I shopped with intensity; with many thoughts about the angst I felt as a broody teenager. I remember being so angry, at so many things : injustice, privilege, power and the blatant abuse of power, misogyny, racism, unfair distribution of privilege throughout our society; the inequity across the world. Holding myself to account here, there is no way I would’ve had the ability to label the inner rage with these words in my teen years, so I am using hindsight to romanticize how I perceived I felt, or rather, how I like to think I felt. I think it’s very important to point out the naivety I definitely displayed in my teenage rage and the privilege I held, that I wasn’t even aware I held. I mostly railed against my parents, The Man and pop-culture. Bih, huh?!

As I’m now the responsible adult and have impending mini-me’s reaching the raging-teenager stage, I am struck by the fact that I am now their “oppressor”… What I mean is, their very loving ruler and boundary enforcer – which will feel like I’m their controller. I want to tell them that I’ll understand when they rage against me, tell them I remember feeling like I was going to burst at the exploding rage I had caged. It was a strange and needs-to-be-explored-more thought process, but I somehow still hold that rage , maybe somewhat refined to the wider context.  Listening to RATM, I was transported into the fiery way injustices and abuse of power that occur throughout our world today… Today’s difference being, I also understood why they still exist. How hard it is to reject long-lasting change. The thought made me instantly tired, because, to maintain the rage of a teenager is a lot of energy… And midlife me just doesn’t have the same energy.

Instead…

The chance discussion about, and subsequent listen to RATM album has me thinking deeply about my underpinning philosophical life approach, that enables me to provide connection, love and joy to those in my life. I guess I used to feel a layer of guilt or shame about that – but, by being authentic on my every day and thinking more broadly than just me, I am reminded powerfully of how privileged I am in life and the responsibility I have with that.

Happy Friday x