It is 6.20, Tuesday evening. I’m sitting in my car, music blaring (The Menzingers if you must know) trying to find some courage to keep writing this thing I call a blog before I head off to my running session. You see, by the time I get home from work on a Tuesday evening, Grimace has wrangled both Little Mate and Giggles Magoo to a sporting pursuit for one of the little darlings, and as I’ve got Tuesday Night Track Sessions for running, it just makes life easier for the family if I don’t make a cameo appearance during that horrible** DINNER BATH STORY BED rush. So, I head off and wait out the 45-or so minutes I have before running around the track in this (freezing) cold weather.

On the trip to work today, I started thinking about writing and how much I love the dialogue it provides; and then on the trip home, I promised myself that I would tonight commit to writing something, anything for this little outlet. But, tonight as I sit here with 25mins to bang something out, I’m rather stuck: I just can’t find what to write about. It’s not that I’m suddenly boring, rather I just don’t have any confidence in the topics I choose to write about. If I look at my ‘Drafts” folder, I have more than a dozen posts I’m started over the last months, but just never finished.

I’ve quite often started a post in my mind, only to quickly erase the thought when I can’t get past the opening paragraph. Some of these topics have been about food, parenting, adventures, personal introspection…but, I start to doubt my topic and the level of interesting it possess, or rather my ability to execute a smooth delivery.

A while ago, I actually sat down and typed out a content plan for this little bugger, and I was doing well at sticking to it – the writing was refreshing and I felt inspired. Now, fast forward into mid-2018 and I don’t prioritise the time to write, and I’ve lost my confidence, feeling like I’m waaaaay back at the opening blog post in 2016.

So, here I am, in all my glory. A post about absolutely nothing. But, at least I’ve followed through on my promise to write something, anything… ha.

Anyways, thanks for reading about absolutely nothing; if anything, I’ve enjoyed writing about something so trivial. It makes me feel like my non-writing issue is rather quite trivial, and I find that oddly liberating.

Next post, here’s hoping I won’t be so inane. Maybe I’ll update you on Grimace & Giggle’s Magoo’s overnight hike, or maybe I’ll talk to you about our house renovation journey, or maybe I’ll brag about my two kidlets and how incredibly lovable they are. Maybe I should get back in touch with that content plan?

Night, Night – I’m off running

x

**So, full disclaimer here…I don’t think it is actually horrible, I quite love the hustle of this time of day. But, it is full on and crazy and I openly admit, it’s nice to have a night away.

How lovely it can be, when you discover a slightly new way of doing things.

How lovely it can be to delight in the unexpected giggless from your three-oist, all the while knowing it will be soon followed by protesting and rage.

How lovely it can be to sit with the tears and frustration of your youngest, listening to his personal tumult. Not trying to fix it, just helping to move through the emotion.

How lovely it can be to remember you are a patient person, aiming to lead the family unit with compassion, empathy.

How lovely it can be to remind yourself that you are raising two precious children, with one hell of a partner.

How lovely it can be to realise our day-to-day is where we hoped it would be, after opening ourselves to the vulnerability change can bring.

How lovely it can be to be avail oneself to the chaos of the double drop, followed by a short drive to work. Those cuddles goodbye, those questions “what we do today mumma” and “did you know, at school, we learn about science, and THE MOON”.

How lovely it can be to see the hard work and focus of your eldest, improving his confidence and ability each day.

How lovely it can be to remember the love of your life is always there, to listen these terrible realisations.

How lovely it can be to allow the space to reframe.

Xx

Ps. It’s amazing how a morning with a little more time for cuddles, allowing a space for reflection, can completely reframe your mindset. That, and an earlier coffee!