A few years ago, I was finding a big sense of frustration in my creative outlet. My sister-in-law had started up an extremely entertaining blog, my younger sister had previously written a travel blog, and I was thoroughly enjoying my drive to write within paid employment. I began to realise I could entertain myself on the commute to work by starting a blog, plus tend to the creative outlet I so desperately needed. Each day I worked, I had (2) hours of idle time that I could dedicate to blogging. It was this realisation that began my foray into the blogosphere.
While I’m not exactly the most competent blogger, nor do I host a blog about one or two particular topics (other than narcissistically myself and my family), I seem to have built a decent readership and have found an extreme sense of satisfaction in being able to process the happenings in my world. Now, relax, I’m not really looking to change any of this anytime soon. In fact, I hold grave fears that I might just shrivel up into a small lifeless blob if I’m unable to keep writing about my world. I’m just wary that today marks my second last day of the commute for the forseeable future. You see, I’ve been successful in securing another role which is faaaar closer to home and will probably mean me driving to work. The challenge will become how I make space in my world at home to keep punching out these little posts, without the comfort of an hour or so’s train ride.
I’m more than confident that I will in fact find ample space to dedicate to tending to my own slice of the internet, it’s just the proposition of change can be daunting. It’s when we (read: I; I’m being generalistic to hide my vulnerability!) find ourselves at possibly our most vulnerable points. Without the luxury of what we already know and are confident in, we begin to wonder if the right decision has been made.
In a practical sense, I am more than sure that I will enjoy not taking the train to work and commuting those tedious hours, but then I start to question my decision to step away from public transport and exactly how will I schedule those writing hours into my life. To accept the change on an emotional level, I try to keep the context of the decision at the fore and remind myself exactly why it makes so much more sense to work closer to our home. I’m finding that to keep peace with the change, I rely heavily on my strength and resilience – the ability to reassure myself that I will indeed find the energy, desire and drive to keep this creative outlet open; I just need to remain open to the change and keep a vision about what I want to achieve with the blog.
Anyways, just thought I’d punch out a blog on the insecurity I’m feeling about the future of my regular blogs. Ha, it’s nearly ironic, right? Probably more moronic 🙂